Reaching out to our Trump-supporting friends and family is an important step in reclaiming our democracy and rebuilding our society. Unfortunately, these conversations can be especially difficult. They are often emotional, draining, and prone to backfiring. It’s easy to slip into arguments or frustration.

But a simple shift in how you approach these conversations can make all the difference. The goal isn’t to get someone to say, “OMG, you’re right. How did I not see that?” This is not about winning a dispute, it’s about helping the other person find truth on their own. If you can lock in this perspective, you’ll greatly increase the probability of having meaningful, productive conversations.

To support that goal, we offer a simple supportive mindset to help ground your conversations in the three pillars of Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship. These are ways of being for you to adpot that will help create a positive and collaborative environment for these conversations. Importantly, the pillars are also models for those we talk to, reminding them how we might relate to one another in a healthier, more humane society.

Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship create the conditions for awareness to take root in the other person. Their first subtle sense that something isn’t right. From there, through your ongoing connection and their reflection, that awareness can lead to awakening: a deeper understanding of how we’ve been misled, by whom, and what else might be possible.

The purpose of this mindset is to help you manage your expectations, bring patience to these conversations, and remind you to let folks figure things out on their own.If things go off track, try returning to these core principles.

If you’re here because you’re following the Constructive Conversations Framework then you can generally map Empathy to the Learn, Recalibrate, Practice, and Engage focus areas of the framework. Map Authenticity to Recalibrate, Practice, and Engage. Map Fellowship to Practice and Engage.

This model is meant to be adaptable, and how you use it will vary depending on your relationship with the person, their connection to Trump, and how deeply they’re entangled in right-wing messaging. Let’s take a closer look.

Empathy

Empathy keeps you centered in the reality that this person is not your enemy, even if it feels like you're on opposite sides. Propaganda-driven anxiety, a sense of victimhood, and feelings of exclusion have shaped many of us. It’s important to remember that none of us are immune to these forces. Empathy allows us to stay mindful, even when the conversations get challenging or emotional.

Empathy can be contagious. Your calm, your openness, and your refusal to meet anger with anger. These alone can be disarming. Sometimes, the most eye-opening moment isn’t a fact or argument but simply realizing that someone still cares.

Reminders for Practicing Empathy:

• Empathy doesn’t excuse harmful beliefs. It helps you stay grounded through difficult conversations.

• You’re not trying to win; you’re trying to understand.

• No one listens while they’re being judged.

• The real fight isn’t with them. It’s with the forces that shaped what they believe.

• Look for the human behind the beliefs. Compassion helps you stay connected.

• Stay patient. Growth is often slow, silent, and invisible at first.

Empathy builds trust, opens hearts, and creates the conditions for change.

Authenticity

Authenticity helps you create a deeper connection by expressing yourself in a way that is genuine and transparent. It builds credibility and invites the trust these conversations depend on.

Reminders for Maintaining Authenticity:

• Be honest. It's the basis of trust.

• You don’t need all the answers. Humility helps you listen without needing control.

• Avoid performance. Sincerity is more effective than polished messaging.

• Share yourself, not just your position. Being open encourages others to do the same.

• Authenticity invites authenticity. Being real helps others lower their guard.

Authenticity builds trust, invites openness, and models the kind of society we hope to build.

Fellowship

Fellowship goes beyond conversations - it’s an environment that you create. It has two elements. One is about working together through these conversations toward that awareness. The other is about recognizing we face the same forces working against us and that we need stand together to push back.

This fellowship is refusing to give up on each other, even when it's hard. It’s the choice to stay connected and remember that our relationships are more powerful than misguided allegiances.

Use these principles to help create that fellowship:

• Solidarity means standing with others, not above them.

• Unity comes from remembering we have more in common than we’ve been led to believe.

• Partnership is about working toward shared goals.

• An alliance begins with recognizing that we have the same enemies, and choosing to act together.

• Purpose gives us a reason to keep going, for each other and for something greater.

• Continuity means showing up consistently and nudging others forward, even as the voices of division try to pull them back.

Fellowship helps us hold the line when others are trying to pull us apart, and it will carry us beyond these conversations. It's about the future of Democracy.

Start your conversations here.