So what does a better conversation actually look like? 

This approach is for the Trump-supporting friends and family already in our lives. It relies on the relationships, history, and trust we already share, so it isn’t intended for conversations with strangers or folks online.

Our relationships with our Trump supporters vary greatly, and so do their relationships with Trump and MAGA. This means there’s no one-size-fits-all conversation, and there isn’t a script.

But there is an approach... 

Do’s and Don’ts 

Some things can help these conversations, while others can quickly derail them.

• What you say and do in these conversations matters greatly. Forget about proving them wrong, fact-checking, or expecting to convert them. Think of these conversations as planting seeds. Be patient.

• Prepare for these conversations: think about who you’ll talk to, how things might go, and the views they might hold. Visualize how you will act positively

• One-on-one conversations are usually most effective. If other Trump supporters are present, they’ll reinforce each other. If multiple people confront a single Trump supporter, he or she will feel attacked and become defensive.

• Face-to-face is ideal, phone calls can work, and email is a last resort.

• People are driven by emotion, not facts. Use personal stories and experiences.

• Consider working on something or solving a problem together. This video shows how effective this can be.

• Avoid insults, eye-rolling, and condescension. If things aren't going well, back off and preserve the relationship.

• If they attack Democrats, let them. Point out things you also don’t like about the Democrats.

• Let them know your door will always be open to them - this will make it easier for them to leave Trump.

If you’re concerned your emotions might get the best of you, or just want to prepare yourself a bit more before diving in, check out our article on developing the [proper mindset].

Establish Trust - If you’ve maintained regular friendly contact, then move on to the next section.  

If you’ve lost touch, reach out and re-establish it. Talk about family, trips, sports, work, etc. Bring up your shared memories, values, and experiences. Keep it light - avoid politics. Go for a walk, help them work on something, or ask for their help. 

These conversations build the trust needed for everything that follows. If you’re starting over with someone, then take your time and enjoy them. 

Continue showing integrity and building trust as your conversations progress. Don’t let these conversations or your relationship become “politics only”.

Establish fellowship

Talk about what’s happening around us rather than politics itself. Local events, news stories, and everyday economic experiences all provide natural openings. A rural hospital cutting services, business closings, unaffordable housing, farm foreclosures, jobs lost to automation and AI, or data centers being forced into our communities can all lead to a conversation about what is happening to ordinary people and who is benefiting from it all.

We want to avoid a perceived attack on Trump, so skip the Iran War, tariffs, the economy, immigration, ICE, the Epstein files, etc. At least for now.

Focus on the growing power of corporations and the wealthy. Turn our deeply unfair system into a unifying issue: it’s broken, and you’re both impacted.

These topics could show up easily in any conversation. If not, you could bring one up: “I was reading that another rural hospital is cutting services,” or “I keep thinking about…,” or “One thing I can’t figure out is…” Follow it with “What do you think?” or “What are you seeing?”

Offer an observation and invite them to examine it with you rather than putting them in the position of defending an opinion. Instead of triggering their rage, trigger their analytical thinking.

We’re still building trust and reinforcing the idea that we’re on the same side.

Gently Introduce Politics

The above conversations can lead to slightly more direct political questions, but continue to leave Trump and his policies out of it. We’re still building trust and introducing a sense of fellowship

• “Sometimes I think we have more in common than the people at the top want us to believe.”

• “I used to like the idea of 'shaking things up' - but over time, I began to figure out who’s actually benefiting from it.”

• “I just don’t think corporatists and billionaires are in this for us.”

• “I’m really starting to worry about what kind of future our kids will be facing.”

• “If I could fix one thing in our government (or society), it would be…”

Again, follow up with “What do you think?” or “What are you seeing?”

Notice that, again, all these questions start with you opening up and expressing yourself on the topic first. Direct questions might be seen as challenges. We don’t want to trigger a defensive posture in our Trump supporter.

As a reminder, these questions are to learn about them - be sincere. You might not like what you hear - be empathetic and patient.

Remember to avoid fully political conversations. Prioritize the relationship, keeping things friendly, light, and humorous.

Test the political waters

If the above conversations led your Trump supporter to mention current policies, it may be safe to test the political waters on that particular subject. 

If they don’t provide the opening, you can introduce a political topic. Let their previously mentioned concerns guide what you discuss, and be mindful of their sensitivities to avoid triggering them. 

For example:

“I’ve been thinking about what you said about rural hospitals. I struggle with the idea of cutting Medicaid when so many of those hospitals already seem to be hanging on by a thread. I understand wanting to cut government spending, but I’m not sure this is where I’d do it. And some of the biggest cuts haven’t even taken effect yet. How do you see it? 

What's especially useful is “I’ve been thinking about what you said…”. It shows you listened, keeps the political conversation focused on their concern rather than your agenda, and gives you a natural reason to bring it up again.

The critical step - you go first

Since you’re both talking about policies, it’s time to share the issues you have with the Democrats. Be honest and vulnerable. Spend some time on this; go into detail, explain why it bothers you, name names. 

It might invite the same from them without you asking. Allow them to go there on their own. If they don’t, then it’s time to ask them what bothers them about the Republicans or Trump.

• What could the Republicans do differently?

• What things could President Trump have done better?

If generic questions don’t get things going, you can raise something more specific, preferably based on what you've learned about them. Examples include: What are your thoughts on…

• the recent cuts and larger pending cuts to Medicare?

• cuts to medical research

• the trillions that tax breaks are adding to the federal deficit?

• the demolition going on in Washington?

• the Iran War and the condition of our troops?

• the pardons given to drug cartel leaders?

Some reminders for this step:

• Notice that these aren’t yes or no questions.

• Make sure you know what you’re asking about.

• No Trump/Republican bashing.

• Avoid debates. This is still only about getting them to think. 

• Continue sharing your frustrations with the Democrats.

• Don’t ask them to share more than you did.

• If a question results in silence, let it sit. The silence is good - they’re thinking.

• Prioritize the relationship - weave in plenty of non-political talk.

Explore 

At some point, you could offer to explore new things together - which is a great way to lower defensiveness. This is not about giving them assignments - it’s about sharing activities.  

Exchange news sources - Trade sources for a few days and then discuss what you find. Introduce them to someone outside the Democratic establishment, such as historian and independent journalist Heather Cox Richardson (here’s an example).

Investigate a claim together - Instead of arguing about whether something is true, look into it together. “I don't know if that's right. Want to see what we can find?” Investigate your side's claims, too.

Pick an issue and follow the money together - Choose something you both care about, such as rural hospitals, housing, utilities, data centers, or prescription drugs, and look at who owns what, who is lobbying, who is contributing to politicians, and who financially benefits. 

Work on a local issue together - Pick a local issue involving hospitals, development, taxes, schools, zoning, utilities, housing, etc., and work through possible solutions together. 

How about national issues? - Instead of starting with who should be president, ask what you would both change about government or society. You might discover agreement around congressional stock trading, lobbying, monopolies, healthcare costs, term limits, corporate subsidies, or something entirely unexpected. Explore possible solutions together. 

Learn about systemic corruption together - Continuing on the theme of billionaires taking over, sign up together at the Political Integrity Project. Where each of you can learn things about your own party and report back on some of your most surprising and disappointing discoveries.

Offer to register as unaffiliated or Independent with them - Most Americans are Independent or unaffiliated. Doing this may permit them to think differently. Be sure you understand the voting implications for your state before doing so.

Don't measure success by whether they admit they were wrong. Measure it by whether you're still talking, whether they're thinking, whether you've given them somewhere else to look, and whether you've begun seeing one another as being on the same side again.

The above sequence is not set in stone. Let the conversations evolve naturally, based on your relationship with them and their relationship with Trump and MAGA.

These conversations have no end date. Keep engaging as a friend or family member. Keep talking, sharing, and exploring things together. It’s important to stay engaged because Fox News isn’t going anywhere…

We hope you pictured yourself having these conversations as you read. You know your friends and family best. Use your instincts, make a plan, and reach out. 

Don’t underestimate the power of your actions – they matter. Just as endless rhetoric was used to undermine our democracy from the top down, our countless conversations can help rebuild it from the bottom up.