The basics of talking with a Trump supporter
Below are well-known tips to keep in mind when talking with Trump supporters. The rationale behind each of them is largely skipped over, but more information on the proper mindset, details on having these conversations, and example phrasing are available on this site. A list of additional external resources is available here.
It’s important to remember that our relationships with Trump supporters vary, as does their allegiance to him, so tweak the below to your situation.
These conversations work best with Trump supporters you know or knew well.
It's best to avoid strangers and folks on social media.
Always avoid anyone who has ever threatened you or talked to you in an intimidating tone.
One-on-one conversations are usually most effective for being open and honest.
One-on-one conversations are usually most effective. If other Trump supporters are present, the person you're speaking with may be less willing to express uncertainty or consider new ideas.
If multiple people engage with a single Trump supporter, he or she will feel attacked and become defensive.
If needed, reconnect first - learn how they're doing - don't go anywhere near politics
Focus reconnection conversations on your shared history, family, mutual interests, or your community.
Use empathy and authenticity to build or maintain trust. These conversations don't work without trust
Importantly, showing empathy is not a concession. It does not mean accepting the beliefs of Trump supporters or meeting them halfway. Empathy is a strategic choice.
Prepare for these conversations: think about who you’ll talk to, the views they might hold, and how things might go. Visualize how you will act positively.
Listen, ask respectful questions, and understand their concerns so well that you can explain them back to them.
Be patient. These conversations can take time.
Avoid talking points, fact-checking, etc. People are driven by emotion, not facts. Use personal stories that they can relate to.
Avoid sarcasm, eye-rolling, or condescension. They'll notice, it will hurt, and it won't be forgotten.
Avoid attacking Trump directly. Instead, try focusing on the ongoing damage, the billionaires taking over, etc.
Avoid mentioning someone being brainwashed or living in a cult - this is exceedingly insulting.
If they were impacted by Trump, instead of "I told you so", sit down and listen to their problem and maybe even help them find a solution.
If things aren't going well, then back off. Don’t get flustered and storm off. Try again another day - it's important to stay connected.
Let them know your door will always be open for them - knowing they have a place to go will make it easier for them to leave Trump.
Keep the conversations casual and lighthearted - these don't have to be deep political discussions. Maybe even make politics secondary.
Stay in contact. They will continue to encounter right-wing propaganda. Be their connection to reality
If the above resonates with you, please start reaching out and start talking. If not, we invite you to look at the additional resources linked above.